Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
