Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
