Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
