I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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