So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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