i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
