I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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