singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
