Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
