he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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