Umm I'm too high to move.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
