I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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