And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
