Are we in a gay sports bar?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
