YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
