i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
