is your mom at the bar?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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