my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
