Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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