Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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