Soap is not a condiment
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
