shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
