census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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