i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
