Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize