so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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