Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
