Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
