Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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