Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
