I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
