if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
