on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
