I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
