hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
