I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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