Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
