This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
