my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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