Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
there is glitter all over my balls
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