Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
