nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
