whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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