Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
