So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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