He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
