after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
