Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
