where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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