I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
