U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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