I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
