two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
