The maid of honor just puked.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
