I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize