I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize