great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
