You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
