Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
