I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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