Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
