East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize