Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
