Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Floor bacon is actually really good
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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