i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
