Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
