me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
